by Tedd Judd, extra lyrics & music by Peter Alsop
- if they haven't called you gay!
YOU AIN’T BEEN DOIN’ NOTHIN’ IF THEY HAVEN’T
CALLED YOU GAY!
One day in school a friend of mine sat all alone and cried
When I asked him what was wrong, he said his grandmother
had died
He apologized for crying and I said that it’s okay
But when I put my arm around him, all the fellows
called me gay!
Cho: Oh you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t
called you gay
If you show a sign of caring, then you know it’s what they’ll say
So you may as well ignore it, or decide that it’s okay
’Cause you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t
called you gay!
One day I saw my uncles lookin’ at a magazine
There were naked women, whips and chains and things
I’ve never seen
They said “Wha’chu think of this one boy?” I said “I think
it’s sick!”
They said “Boy, y’must be gay, if you don’t wanna
poke a chick!”
Well you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t
called you gay!
If you show a sense of decency, you know it’s what they’ll say
So you may as well ignore it, or decide that it’s okay
’Cause you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t
called you gay!
And then I went to college and I studied modern dance
I went down to the gym with m’tights beneath my pants
As I was working out, some jock would whisper loud and clear,
“Bet the dancer loves this locker room for men, because
he’s queer!”
Well you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been
call a queer!
If you try out something new, well, y’know it’s what you’ll
hear
So you may as well ignore it, or answer with a cheer,
’Cause you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been
call a queer!
I like to work with kids and help them grow-up strong and free
But when I became a day-care teacher, people said to me
“Can’t you make the boys be tough and make the girls be cute?
Can’t you get a real man’s job? Wha’sa matter? You a fruit?”
Well you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been
called a fruit!
If you work for sex role freedom, well you know they’ll
start to hoot
Just remember there’s a hurting kid inside each
jeering brute
And you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been
called a fruit!
I help out at a shelter that is full of battered wives
It’s a place that they can run to when they’re frightened
for their lives
There’s some folks in our community who say it’s run by hags
They say we’re breaking up the families, and so we
must be fags!
Oh you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been called a fag!
If you sympathize with victims, then they’ll say you
dress in drag!
So you may as well ignore it, or treat it like a gag,
’Cause you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been
called a fag!
Well singing isn’t macho, as everybody knows
Unless it’s country western, or you’re wearing chain-link
clothes
But if it’s folk or op’ra or a style they dunno,
You can bet you’re “yodel-e-hee” you’ll be called a “homo”
Oh you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been
called a homo!
It’s been said about a lot of folks, from Brahms to
Perry Como!
So you may as well ignore it, or use it for your promo!
’Cause you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if you ain’t been
called a homo!
The White House starts its wars with people yellow, brown,
and black
If they’re not red-white-and-blue, they must be red,
so we attack!
All those blue-bloods get red-necks, when I tell ’em what
I think
They yell and say I’m yellow, … ‘n I say “I’m not! I’m pink!
Well you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t
called you pink
If you say your party’s Green, y’know exactly what
they’ll think
So just dress yourself in lavender, and give ’em all a wink
’Cause you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t
called you pink!
I wonder why the things I do bring ridicule to me
From rigid, frightened people in a land that’s brave and free
As for me, to be a “real man” means give up fear and hate
And to sing along, with arms around our brothers gay and straight!
That you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t
called you gay
If you work for gender justice, then you know it’s what
they’ll say
So you may as well ignore it, or decide that it’s okay
’Cause you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t called you,
Diff’rent, pansy, friendly faggot, fairy, weird and wimp!
Sissy, strange and sick, and when they say your wrist is limp,
Just give ’em a big smile, and let ’em hear you say
That you ain’t been doin’ nothin’ if they haven’t called you gay!
Written by Tedd Judd, extra lyrics & music by Peter Alsop, Copyright 1985, Tedd Judd
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