He Eats Asparagus

HE EATS ASPARAGUS

Whenever I am naughty, whenever I act bad

Whenever I do something that makes my parents mad,

Like the time I juggled eggs, and they splattered on the floor

My Mommy says “Why can’t you be just like that boy next

     door!”

Bridge: The boy next door, he makes his bed                                      

He never leaves things on the floor                                                    

He likes his little sister                                                                    

And he never slams the door, yeah,                                                 

Cho: The boy next door he cleans his plate                                       

And he makes my parents say,                                                         

“HE EATS ASPARAGUS, WHY CAN’T YOU BE THAT WAY?!”                       

At school he’s an angel, he always sits up straight

He says “Thank-you, please, excuse me!”, and he never comes in late

N’though he’s never, ever dirty, still he loves to take his bath

And he loves to do his homework too, especially his math!

Chorus

He goes to bed without a fuss and he brushes all his teeth

And Mommy wishes that I was him, and he was me!

He never burps or spills his milk, he always does what he is told,

But what the heck, the boy next door is, 34 YEARS OLD!!

Chorus

“WHY CAN’T YOU BE THAT WAY?!”

“WHY CAN’T YOU BE THAT WAY?!”

Written by Barry Louis Polisar, ©Copyright 1974, Rainbow Morning Music (BMI)

Additional lyrics by Peter Alsop

On Take Me With You! – www.peteralsop.com