Peter Alsop

Music for Children and Adults

My Father's Top Drawer


MY FATHER’S TOP DRAWER                         

As a child I was blessed with a curious mind

And a sleepy, incompetent nurse!

One day I discovered my father’s top drawer,

Where I found my old man was perverse!


Cho:  It’s a wonder I turned out as well as I did

I’m not nearly as warped as before

I’m not sick, God forbid! I was only a kid,

Who grew up in his father’s top drawer!


Devices and diagrams, naked toy dolls,

There were magazines and pictures and cards!

And a pen with a lady, when turned upside-down

Who discarded her black leotards!


Chorus:  It was scary to find what my Dad had on his mind!

And the feelings that came over me!

I tried hard to stay calm, but how could I tell Mom,

His disease was hereditary!!


Chorus:  It’s a wonder I turned out as well as I did

Readjustment is really a chore!

I found Pandora’s box there, under his socks,

When I opened my father’s top drawer!


A hotwater bottle with buttocks and breasts,

An amazing assortment of smut

That pornography there under his underwear

Got me into this sexual rut!


Chorus:  I grew older and brought home all my friends,

We’d sneak in and spend long afternoons!

And I never got caught, though I think my Dad knew

I was selling them his long white balloons!!


Chorus:  It’s a wonder I turned out as well as I did

Now I’m older and I know the score!

I’ve got kids of my own, who’ll be pure when they’re grown,

'Cause there’s a lock on their father’s top drawer!!


Written by Peter Alsop, ©1985, Moose School Music, (BMI)

(tune of “My Grandfather’s Clock” by Henry Clay Work - 1896)

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