Cho: Give yourself a hand, give yourself a hand
You say it’s not your fault so it’s got to be
Give yourself a hand, give yourself a hand
Give us all a break and give yourself a hand!
You act like you’ve been,
Deserted on an island all alone for years
With no one there to scratch your back, or
rub behind your ears
So you act like you’re in heat, drowning in
And ev’ry conversation takes on sexual overtones
And your fingers indiscreetly with no conscience
of their own
Go creeping here and there, acting quite
Your starving, leering, lechy eyes pursue her
ev’ry move, drooling,
Searching for her thighs or the bounce of her
It’s so tedious, exhausting, unnecessary and,
Easily cured and remedied, this plague of modern
Chorus: (You say you’re at the mercy of your
So you won the big election, but it’s not your
It’s your work, not your erection, that put you
on the map!
You’re the Chairman, Captain, Chief; your title’s on
Success once bought relief, but now that’s not
the way things are!
Has your mother ever mentioned suff’ring gross
From big men with bent intentions, do you think
that she’d be pleased?
C’mon and join the rest of us, we’re trying hard
The selfish and injurious ways that we’ve been
If you’re insecure or scared, you can ask me
If you’re lonely we can talk, but if you’re horny,
be a sport, and,
Chorus: (You say you’re only comfortable when
you’re in command!)
This common health phenomenon some marriages
They don’t do “it” down in Washington, which is why
they’re so depraved!
It’s fun and full of rhythm! You can play to beat
So do yourself a favor! It’s something you will
Do yourself a favor and give yourself a hand!
Chorus: (You say you’ve no control when your
private parts expand!)
We know that riding on the range makes a cowpoke
And seamy, smelly, strange and all that other
Just like football, motorcycle grease, soldiers,
guns and beer,
You’re out to prove that you’re okay, but boy,
you’re acting weird!
Have you got a big obsession? Afraid that you
If your sexual aggression won’t make some sweet
young thing sigh,
And offer you her hips, and heart and mind
Do you have to have a power fix to make you
No one else should have to suffer ’cause you happen
to be strong,
Grow-up and be responsible for knowing right
from wrong, and,
Chorus: (We will all applaud you when you try
hard as you can!)
Give us all a break and we’ll give you a hand!!
Written by Peter Alsop, © 1985, Moose School Music (BMI)
On Fan Club Favorites and Songs On Sex & Sexuality - www.peteralsop.com