Pluggin' Away Booklet

PLUGGIN' AWAY - NOTES

Here are some new songs to sing and laugh along with, and stir your imagination. The suggested activities are guidelines to help parents, teachers, and other human service professionals focus on interpersonal issues and to open up communications with their children. The exercises should generate ideas for other exercises. The questions have no "right" answers. We learn more while looking for solutions than we do when we grab for a simple answer.

Kids sing along on these songs, learn vocabulary, and practice rhythm and pitch. They feel supported when they hear their own issues voiced and their self-esteem grows. They laugh at the humor and ask lots of questions that may require grown-ups to reconsider some of our own attitudes. Adults who listen with their children will find it an opportunity to grow closer as a friend, and to get back in touch with the child within themselves.

The children singing along on the recording encourage participation. Everyone can sing! Those of us who think that we cannot sing have learned that we are "non-singers"! Let's not let that go on any longer! A voice is run by air and muscles that can be trained with practice and encouragement. If someone doesn't like the way we sound when we're singing, it's because they think we should sound like someone else! A good singer sings with heart, and anyone can do that!

Adults and children often need to talk about serious issues, but we seldom find a safe, socially acceptable occasion to do so. These songs are about self-worth, imagination, work, AIDS, hope, fears, disabilities, our environment, non-competitive games, and parenting. They can act as a catalyst to encourage further talks, explorations and activities with kids and adults equally aware that we all learn from each other.

1. IF I WAS IN CHARGE

EXERCISES: Think of a time when you were in charge of something. Tell how you felt about it. List the things you did well and the things you didn't do so well. Talk about what you'd do differently next time. Find three friends and build something together without having a leader. Talk about it after you are finished.

QUESTIONS: Would you like to be in charge? Why? What things you think kids ought to be in charge of? Why do you think most groups have leaders? Do you think becoming a leader changes someone? What kind of things does a good leader do?

DISCUSSION: A leader can empower other people, or keep other people dependent on them. Empowerment is when people learn new skills, and gain self-confidence. Their feelings are taken into consideration, and everyone shares in the decision making that orders their lives. When a leader demands loyalty, no matter what, and acts without consulting others, they do it to control people who disagree with what they are doing. This kind of "being in charge" doesn't make anyone feel empowered. Let's not support leaders like that!

2. I CAN IF I WANNA

EXERCISES: Try to draw a picture of a "Neggy" while one of your friends sits next to you and says critical and negative things about your drawing. Do this for one minute and then switch places and do it again. When your are done, talk to each other about how you felt. Be sure to give each other a hug when you're done!

QUESTIONS: Did you do the exercise above? Did it remind you of anyone you know? Who? How did it feel when you had to be the "Neggy?" What are some of the negative messages you hear in real life? Do they affect what you are doing? Do you ever hear a "Neggy" voice inside your own head? What can you do to help yourself when this happens?

DISCUSSION: People criticize us as we grow up. Usually they are trying to help us learn, but sometimes it's because we don't do things their way. When we hear negative messages, we learn to say them to ourselves, even when the original "Neggy" isn't around anymore! When we understand where we got our negative messages, we can give them back, or throw them out, fill ourselves up with positive, affirming thoughts that help us, instead of holding us back.

3. COSTUME PARTY

EXERCISES: Wear a blindfold for part of your day as though you were blind. Talk about how it felt afterwards. Ask a friend who is a different race than you what it feels like to be different. If you don't have any friends who are a different race, find some. Interview people who are older and younger than you about how it feels.

QUESTIONS: Do you know anyone with a physical disability? Does their disability ever make you uncomfortable? Do you think that your body is "you", or are "you" somewhere inside your body? Where? If someone doesn't like the way you look, does that mean they don't like you?

DISCUSSION: Most of us are uncomfortable at parties until we get to know the other people there. How people present themselves tells us something about them, but we only feel comfortable with them when we have spent some time talking and getting to know them. We usually feel more comfortable around people who are similar to us. When we spend time with people who are different, we start to see our similarities.

4. HYPERACTIVE EXERCISES: Eat a candy bar, then sit quietly and see if you can feel a difference inside your body. Pay attention to your heartbeats and the way the way the blood feels in your temples. Think about what the inside of your stomach looks like. Try to build stomach awareness about the food you eat, instead of mouth awareness.

QUESTIONS: Do you believe this song when it says "Sugar's good for me and you!"? Do you eat sugary cereal in the morning? Why? Have you ever tasted cereal that tastes good without being "sugar-coated"? Did you know that you can become addicted to using sugar every morning to "get you going?"

DISCUSSION: Refined sugar goes into our blood stream so fast, that our body thinks that we must have eaten a ton of apples. It expects more sugar will be coming along as we digest the food, so our pancreas puts lots of insulin into our blood stream to counteract the sugar. The insulin stabilizes the refined sugar, but our pancreas keeps making more, and we experience "low blood sugar" which feels like we're "hungry". So we eat again, (usually more refined sugar), and the hypoglycemic cycle starts again. This is how sugar addiction occurs.

There is still some controversy about the relationship between hyperactivity and the ingestion of refined sugar, but we know that eating like this makes us nervous, irritable, run down and depleted. Our body doesn't get the vitamins it needs. Sugar encourages bacteria to form in our mouth and they produce acids that decay our teeth. Brushing and flossing once a day will disturb the growth of bacteria and protect your teeth. Let's take better care of our bodies!

5. NO ONE'S NORMAL

EXERCISES: List five things you do that you think are "normal". Then show your list to a friend and see if the things on your list are normal for them. Make yourself look abnormal for a day, and watch how other people respond to you. Don't do anything dangerous or harmful for you or anyone else. Get some friends to act abnormal too, then talk about how it feels.

QUESTIONS: What does "normal" mean? Who decides what is "normal"? Who is the most "normal" person you know? Why do you think they are normal? Does that person do any "abnormal" things? If you think someone is abnormal, is it because of how they look or what they do? Do you think there's anything "bad" about being abnormal? What? Where did you get that opinion?

DISCUSSION: "Normal" means "the way most people are; average". Some things we do or the way we look may fall into a "normal" range, which means that most other people fall into that range too, but some people would be insulted if you told them they were "normal". They'd be insulted if you told them they were "abnormal!" These words label people, and can be used to get people to change their behavior. What is normal for one person may be abnormal for another person. So be careful of hidden messages when you hear these words. No one person is ever completely normal, you know that!

6. HEAL THE BAY

EXERCISES: Go to your local beach and mark off an area in the sand. Then sift through the sand in that area and pick out all the little bits and pieces of human-made objects you can find. You know when you throw something away, it doesn't really go away, so find out where it goes when you throw it away, and how long it takes for things to decompose. Visit your local landfill and ask the people who work there to explain how it works.

QUESTIONS: What is your environment? Have you ever breathed smog or seen polluted water? Where? How did you feel about it? Have you ever polluted anything? What? Do you know what toxic means? What could you do to help clean up the Earth?

DISCUSSION: If we keep on polluting, in one hundred years half of all the species of plants and animals will be extinct? Environmental pollution causes sickness and death for all living plants and animals. As the toxicity on Earth increases, we humans are finally realizing that when a species of plant or animal is extinct, it's gone forever. Humans will become extinct too if we are not more careful with our biosphere. It's up to all of us, adults and children to care for our planet, so that humankind can go on for awhile longer.

7. THAT'S MY THANG!

EXERCISES: After you listen to this song, make-up a verse about your own "thang". If you have more than one "thang", make-up as many verses as you want! Next time you have work you don't want to do, try to find some part of the task that is enjoyable and focus on that. Volunteer to help someone else and don't take any payment for it, even if they insist. See how you feel about what you're doing when you're not working for money.

QUESTIONS: Do you have something that you love to do? What is it? Do you love to do it because you are good at it, or are you good at it because you love to do it? Has anyone ever tried to discourage you from doing your "thang"? What happened? DISCUSSION: Most of us learned that a chore no one wants to do is called "work." Someone else might enjoy doing it, so it isn't work for them. We heard messages like, "when your work is done, then you can play" and, "I have to go to work now", that taught us that work is NOT fun. Many people love their jobs and feel good about the work they do. Unfortunately, many of us have learned to value what we do, by what get paid for doing it. Artists often work for little or no money because they love to do their "thang"; it's an expression of themselves. Doing your "thang" makes you feel good, and if you can figure out a way to get paid for it, that's great!

8. SAFARI

EXERCISES: Imagine shrinking down and taking a trip through your own body! Imagine what it would be like to walk on your own tongue. (Clean your feet first!) See yourself as a repair person inspecting your insides to make sure you are working properly. Spend time looking at places that have been injured. Shine your magical healing heat lamp on places that need extra energy, and see if you can feel the warmth!

QUESTIONS: Can you imagine climbing into a large cave and finding out that it was really a giant's nose?! What would it feel like to walk in there? What would you do to save yourself if the giant sneezed? Do you tease your sister or brother or friends? Do you like to be teased? How can you tell when it's too much? Are there things that you shouldn't tease people about? What are they? Can you tease some people about these things, but not others? Why?

DISCUSSION: When you exercise your fantasy and imagination, you develop your creativity, and you can even help yourself heal your body. Although a song like this might be upsetting or out of place for some people, it has generated many wonderful discussions about what is socially appropriate and what isn't.

9. GOTTA LOTTA LIVIN' TO DO

EXERCISES: If you have a friend who has tested positive for HIV antibodies, ask if they will share what they have been feeling and going through. Be a good listener. Go to the library and get some up-to-date information on AIDS, then draw a picture of how AIDS makes you feel and show it to a safe friend. Offer to be a buddy to someone who has AIDS.

QUESTIONS: Do you know someone who knows about AIDS? Will they talk to you about what happens inside a person's body when they get it? Are you afraid of people with HIV antibodies? Why? Do you know anyone who has it? Do you ever think about dying? Do you think people who are sick can be playful?

DISCUSSION: It is most difficult to be loving when we're afraid. We know how we'd like to act, but when we're afraid we do the best we can. Fear runs some people's lives, and there isn't much space left for love when we're full of fear. If we get good information and keep our hearts open, we won't need to become so afraid that we cut off our feelings. AIDS gives us a chance to stretch and grow spiritually by walking through our fear and holding onto a loving attitude even when we're afraid.

10. WHAT IF?

EXERCISES: Next time you think scary thoughts, and you're not in any danger, think of some funny things to make yourself laugh. List some of the funniest things you ever did, or make notes about some times when you couldn't stop laughing. Then put the notes away in an envelope. Next time you're making yourself worried and afraid of something, take out your envelope and read through it. Try saying "ha-ha-ha-ha" outloud fifty times to get yourself laughing.

QUESTIONS: Have you ever been in an earthquake? How did you feel about it? Have you ever been so frightened that you couldn't move? What do you do to keep from being frightened when you are scared? Are you shy? Can you think of pleasant or funny things to change your attitude when you need to?

DISCUSSION: It's okay and very appropriate to be afraid or scared sometimes. We should never try to squoosh our feelings down. It's better to recognize they're there. Sometimes we think thoughts that make us even more scared and worried and we can't function very well when we do this to ourselves. Then it's time to try this technique, and think of some funny stuff! When our brains are full of fears we can't think straight, and sometimes a good laugh can help us see other options, so we can change our scary situation. Just because something's serious, doesn't mean it's not funny!

11. UNDER THE RAINBOW

EXERCISES: Interview your friends to find out how people feel about nuclear bombs and power plants, or the pollution in the environment. See if kids are more concerned and nervous than adults. Ask the kids what they can do to make a difference in the way things are being done. Find stories in the library about kids who did something to make a difference. Get together with some friends, and figure out how you can make a difference where you live.

QUESTIONS: What is one thing you know about radiation? Do you know what nuclear radiation does to living tissue? Do you ever think about the bombs and missiles all over the world aimed at cities right now? How does that make you feel? What could you do to let others know how you feel?

DISCUSSION: Kids know about escalation. They may not know what the word means, but they can know what happens when one kid in line pushes another kid. They know about pushing back, and how the pushing gets harder and rougher each time. That could happen with nuclear weapons. Kids also know about fear. We are still making nuclear waste without having anywhere safe to put it. We aren't spending much effort on developing renewable energy sources, because we're afraid it will take too long. If we're going to have it in the future, we need to start now!

12. NEW GAMES

EXERCISES: Change the rules of a game you used to play. Get rid of rules that made you upset with your friends. Figure out some way to have more than one winner, or some way that everyone wins or everyone loses. Games like that help us learn to cooperate. Keep the fun things; the rhythms, the suspense, the movement, the strategies, and anything else that makes you laugh or feel good.

QUESTIONS: How does it feel when you lose? How about when you win? Do winners ever feel embarrassed because they won? Have you ever felt that way? Do you enjoy playing, even when you don't win? Why? What games do you like the best? Why? Do your friends like the same games you do? Why do you think that is?

DISCUSSION: Losing can be a big disappointment, but most of us pick ourselves up and try again. Some people have been disappointed so often that they stop trying. That's when competition can be most harmful. People need support and encouragement to learn new skills, and they don't learn very well when they feel like they're a "loser". Playing is about exploring and learning about ourselves and other people. If you have to have a good reason for everything you do, then you need to ask a little kid to show you how to play! Enjoy yourself!

13. HIGH STANDARDS

EXERCISES: Ask your parents to go over some of their old report cards and tell you how their parents responded to their grades and how it made them feel. Find out if they have jobs now where those same feelings come up. Ask them to love you for just being alive, regardless of the things you do. What you do is NOT who you are.

QUESTIONS: Did you ever get the message that you had to do something to get approval or to be loved? How long did it feel good when you got the approval? Do you think that no matter how well you do, you'll still never get enough approval or love? Do the people who taught you this feel they have to do something to get approval or love too? Have you tried doing things for yourself instead of for other people's approval?

DISCUSSION: Many of our parents expected us to perform, and rewarded us by approving or loving us when we did well. Some of us were held up as examples to our brothers and sisters. From this kind of parenting, we learned that "who we are" or "how we feel" is not as important as "what we do". We learned to become "human doings" instead of "human beings", and as adults, many of us feel that we always have to be "doing" something in order to feel worthwile. Some of the kids who learn the most in school don't bring home "A's" on their report cards.

14. PLUGGIN' AWAY

EXERCISES: Think about a time when you had too much to do, and managed to get it all done. Ask a family member to tell you a story about how they kept pluggin' away at something and finally accomplished it. Find out if someone tried to discourage them.

QUESTIONS: Do you ever feel like quitting a big job when you see how much you still have to do? Did you ever have a great idea that you never started, because it seemed like too much work? Can you still do it now? What's stopping you? Do you put off doing things when you're afraid they won't be successful? What can you do to break that pattern?

DISCUSSION: There are always tasks to be done that no one wants to do, but our attitude makes the difference between whether it becomes awful drudgery, a job to be done, or even fun. The best way to get one of those jobs done is to keep working on it.

Some people use work as a way to avoid painful feelings. Keeping our minds occupied can help us through hard times, but working can become unhealthy for us when we do it compulsively. If we develop a pattern of cutting off our feelings to avoid dealing with what's driving us inside, we never face the source of our problem, and we can become addicted to work behavior, taking on task after task in order to keep our painful feelings from coming up. When this happens, it's better to STOP pluggin' away and get some help from someone who knows about codependency and addictive behaviors.

"I would love to hear any comments or suggestions about this tape, or any ideas you have for more songs!"

Peter has a Ph.D. in educational psychology, and he travels all through the year giving lecture presentations, workshops and concerts to thousands of parents, teachers, doctors, therapists, nurses and other human service professionals.

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PETER ALSOP, BOX 960, TOPANGA, CA 90290 - (213)455-2318

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